Newsletter – The Hidden Reason Why Claims Keep Piling Up: What You Should Know

The Hidden Reason Why Claims Keep Piling Up: What You Should Know

I have lost track of the number of the sexual harassment or sexual misconduct claims that keep piling up against powerful men. Luckily for me, Vox has the answer: 211 and counting. https://www.vox.com/a/sexual-harassment-assault-allegations-list

I have to confess a bias here: I hope the most recent allegation against Tom Brokaw that he made at least two unwelcome passes aimed at a much younger and more junior colleague over twenty years ago are not true. But in the meantime, I hope that NBC does what it allegedly didn’t do with Matt Lauer: 1) retain an independent investigator to conduct a timely, full and fair investigation; and 2) create a safe space for people to report concerns.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/nbc-news-faces-skepticism-in-remedying-in-house-sexual-harassment/2018/04/26/7fa8a666-4979-11e8-8b5a-3b1697adcc2a_story.html?utm_term=.cfa76f2ee39e

Regardless of what any Brokaw investigation shows, people concerned about being accused of sexual harassment and misconduct need to understand one thing: the power differential between you and people below you.

I have been hired to conduct one-on-one sensitivity training with so many leaders accused of harassment or bullying who honestly thought a careless remark or a mild pass was no big deal. Unfortunately, they didn’t consider the power differential in the interaction.

Before you communicate about anything with a junior employee, consider whether there are significant power differentials, clouding the issue of whether your conduct is welcome or unwelcome. Understand that people can gain power through position, status and sometimes gender, race and so on, if there is a significant difference in the dominant culture’s characteristics and the characteristic of the minority culture of the group.

• Is there a power differential?
• Have I done my best to make the other person comfortable having an honest and helpful conversation?
• Have I considered what linguist Deborah Tannen calls report talk versus rapport talk? What person is using which style and why? Are the styles reflective of power differentials?
• Rapport talk is talk designed to improve and build relationships. It is conciliatory, polite and friendly. When using rapport talk, we say things such as, “You might be unaware that…” before delivering a negative message. We may also say things such as, “I’m not sure if this is right, but maybe we should….” We ask permission before we do things: “Would you mind if I…” We tend to ask for the other person’s advice and approval. A younger woman asking for advice from a powerful older man is a classic set-up to situations where he feels he can say things he might not otherwise say.
• We use report talk if we have more or equal power with the person we are talking to, creating communication that focuses on delivering information and accomplishing tasks. This talk tends to sound like orders. We tend to start our sentences with “I (or we) need to do ‘X’.” “I want or need ‘x’.”
• While Tannen has identified these communication differences as one of gender, other linguists point to the difference in power as key, arguing that other groups who have historically had less power in the workplace – such as African Americans – also tend to use more rapport talk.
• The people who use report talk tend to think that the rapport talkers are wasting their time, not getting to the point, trying to create a sexual relationship and so on. The rapport talkers think the report talkers are brusque, ordering them around or bullying.
• While it is useful to consider these power differentials in all workplace communications, it is especially important when offering behavior that the other person may not feel comfortable refusing because of the power differential.
• Know that different styles are useful in different situations. The key is to consider which style you are using and why.