What Leaders Can Learn About Retaliation From Andrew Cuomo’s Mistakes

 

August 9, 2021

What Leaders Can Learn About Retaliation From Andrew Cuomo’s Mistakes

A TEXTBOOK EXAMPLE: If we needed a textbook example of what not to do after harassment or other workplace complaints have been filed, look no further than the current furrow over how Cuomo’s office handled their responses to the 11 women who have come forward with claims of sexual harassment.

According to the New York Times, How Cuomo and His Team Retaliated Against His Accusers, Cuomo’s minions went into overdrive in order to discredit his first public accuser, former staffer Lindsey Boylan, once she went public with her complaint that the governor had sexually harassed her. The loyalists drafted an Op Ed letter to the New York Times, discrediting Boylan, including claiming that she herself had treated staff poorly, assaulting her character and leaking her personnel files to the press. While the letter was never sent, drafts were circulated both within the office, as well as to former staffers and advisors, and the file was leaked by his aides. In addition, other former aides were trusted with personal and confidential information about the whole situation and trusted to make decisions.

Secret Recordings: Continuing the drama, when yet another staffer voiced support for Boylan on Twitter, his inside staff and outside counselors mobilized to find out if she was working for Boylan and to pressure his then-executive assistant, DeRosa, to call her and record the conversation. The conversation was deleted but not before other staffers heard about it.

Staffers Discouraged: Additional staffers were discouraged from coming forward with their own complaints, once they heard what happened to Boylan and others. Recently, both DeRosa and Cuomo’s special counsel, Judith Mogul, have resigned. Stay tuned…

What Should You Do? 

Stay Neutral: If you’re faced with a harassment complaint in your organization, while it’s always complicated when an investigation involves a top executive, the employer’s obligation remains the same: stay neutral. Leave the investigation in the (we hope) capable hands of your employment attorneys and say nothing until the investigation is finished. If people inside or outside the organization find out about the complaint, give them a general statement that whenever you receive complaints of harassment or discrimination, you make certain that experienced and neutral investigators conduct the investigation and until such investigations are complete, you do not comment.

Retaliation Can Be Subtle: Make sure that everyone involved knows that retaliation can be subtle: gossiping about the parties involved, failing to keep the complaint or personnel records confidential, talking to parties outside the scope of the situation, or disciplining or terminating anyone involved. Only people who need to know should know that there has been a complaint, and that should be a small and tightly controlled group. Certainly, leaking information or writing letters to the press would be beyond the pale. Of course, sometimes discipline or termination can’t be avoided until the investigation is over, but by all means, do your best to avoid any unnecessary actions.

Educate Before You Need to Face the Situation: While most organizations these days conduct training on harassment, not all those sessions include robust material on retaliation and how subtle that can be. Make certain that yours do.

For more articles about retaliation and investigations, check out our Monday Memos.

What Do You Think?

Have you observed subtle retaliation after complaints have been filed? Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Did You Know

All of our workshops, coaching, and investigations cover how to avoid tainted investigations and retaliation. Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Read Lynne’s book on sexual harassment

Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Think You Have Trouble Hiring? Try Finding Someone to Work in Isolation for 24/7!

 

August 2, 2021

Think You Have Trouble Hiring? Try Finding Someone to Work in Isolation for 24/7!

HIRING WOES: Most of my clients now struggle with hiring problems: historic labor shortages, and concerns about future virus problems have made finding employees a current crisis. Restaurants, health care, and other service industries have been hit especially hard, but manufacturing and some airline jobs are also suffering.

Yet with effort, flexibility and creativity, the right people are out there.

SHEEPHERDERS WANTED:  I grew up on a sheep ranch and finding someone who wanted to spend months in the mountains with no company but a herd of sheep and your dogs, has always been a challenge but lately, things have become even worse. In the past, ranchers relied on a patchwork of visas and agencies to bring workers in from various countries from Mexico to Peru. With the pandemic and other visa restrictions, however, those sources have dried up. In addition, workers must be willing to spend their days working from sunup to sundown, minding, moving, or tending the herd. Frequently, their nights are also interrupted when the dogs wake them to fend off coyotes or bears. Horses provide transportation and “home” (provided as a perk) is a trailer – generally around 14’ by 8’. Ranchers typically visit every few days with food and other provisions. Forget Internet, although cell phones work in some places.

ONE RANCHER’S SOLUTION: Scott Stubbs searched desperately for an experienced herder to help mind his 1,470 ewes and lambs, summering in the national forests of Utah. Utah Farm Draws a Rare Breed: The American Shepherd – The New York Times (nytimes.com)

Enter beginning herder Duane Rogers, 58, who’d worked on farms, construction, truck driving, and other areas, but had never herded sheep. He loved the mountains, however, and didn’t mind living alone. In Texas recovering from surgery, he found Stubbs’ posting on a state job board and jumped at the chance to move with his five dogs and his dad’s saddle.

While Stubbs would have preferred someone with experience, he needed to fill the position pronto, so he accepted neophyte Rogers and his equally inexperienced dogs. So far, the gamble has paid off. Stubbs has trained his new herder along with his canine companions. The sheep don’t seem to mind Roger’s and his dogs’ lack of tenure. Although the pay is low – around $1700/month in Utah – plus room, board and transportation, Rogers finds that he can bank his pay and pay down debts. And of course, there’s little to spend his paycheck on anyway.

What Should You Do? 

If you’re having trouble finding employees, consider learning from Stubbs’ experience:

Be Willing to Train: Like most employers, Stubbs wanted to hire someone experienced, but since he was desperate, he accepted someone he would need to train. I’m constantly amazed at how often my clients want not only certain skills, but also an exact industry experience. Today, those parameters will limit your options.

Search in Unique Locales: Be willing to find people outside your customary areas. You never know who might be willing to relocate or travel. Advertise online and in publications outside your industry; be willing to recruit at different schools and colleges.

Banish Your Stereotypes: At 58, Rogers may have been considered too old by some for such a physically demanding job, or an employer might have been unwilling to invest in training someone who they assume might retire soon. Yet research has shown that older workers frequently have lower turnover than younger workers, fewer sick days, and work more years than they expected. Just because you’ve never hired a man or a Latino for a certain job, be willing to let go of your old ideas.

Be Creative with Requirements: You may believe that only your standard 40 hours a week or on-site requirements make sense but – especially after the pandemic – many people want to ease back into work with remote work or fewer hours. Be willing to reconfigure the job to gain the best people.

What Do You Think?

With the current labor shortage, what recruiting techniques have worked for you? Call or write us at: For more creative recruitment and retention ideas, read our Monday Memos. Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Did You Know

All of our management and leadership classes help you hire and retain the best. Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk – Tough Conversations with Your Employee” and learn to tackle any topic with sensitivity and smarts

Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Want to Be Happy About Returning to Work? Here’s How

 

July 12, 2021

Want to Be Happy About Returning to Work? Here’s How

Joy or Dread? People have various reactions to returning to work in person, new jobs, or jobs from which they were laid off. Some are annoyed, having relished the time with their dogs or the lack of a commute, others look forward to the escape from pinch hitting as remote learning instructors for the kids and a relief from endless video conferences.

What you may not have thought about, according to Adam Grant, Wharton professor, organizational psychologist, and author of Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know, is that we’ve been missing a “particular kind of joy” over the past year.

As he explains the problem, we’ve lacked “collective effervescence”, that’s sense of energy and harmony we feel with others during an engaging brainstorming session or an unexpected team win.

Emotions Are Catching: According to Grant, research has shown that people laugh five times as often with others than alone. All emotions: sadness, joy, depression can be contagious. The lethargy we feel after too much Zooming may be due to too many hours spent communicating with people who are also sad and lonely, in addition to screen fatigue.

The Depression Epidemic: In addition, four in ten adults report feeling depressed in the past year and one-half, as opposed to the previous one in ten. Surprisingly, introverts report feeling even more depressed than extroverts during the pandemic: they need the energy of connection also.

What Should You Do? 

Leaders: If you’re inclined to bring your team back to in-person work, realize that the move may benefit individuals, as well as the organization. When your associates complain about the directive, banish your guilt, and consider sharing some of the research in order to persuade the troops.

Individuals: If you’re moping about moving back into the office, take heart: you may find your mood improves.

Organizations: In a competitive labor market, while you may be tempted to offer increasing flexibility of work hours and work from-home options, consider a hybrid model so that people are in the office together at least some of the time.

For more information on this subject read Three Ways to Banish the Blahs for You and Your Team and check out our other articles.

What Do You Think?

Have you found that you or your team feel happier together? Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Did You Know

We cover these and other topics about returning to work in all of our management and leadership workshops – live or online Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk – Tough Conversations with Your Employee” 

Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Why Are Workers Quitting? New Reasons for the Labor Shortage

 

July 19, 2021

Why Are Workers Quitting? New Reasons for the Labor Shortage

THE BIG QUIT: I hear a lot of grousing from clients now about the challenge of finding workers. Many are sure that the reason for the current labor shortage is that: “No one wants to work!” That may be one reason, but an additional issue is just how many workers have skedaddled from their jobs over the past year, leaving more vacancies to fill.

In April, for example, over four million workers left their jobs, according to stats on a recent “It’s Been a Minute” podcast, Why Workers Are Quitting, July 18, 2021.

WHY PEOPLE LEAVE: Despite the common desire to find a one-size-fits-all reason for the exodus, the reasons are complex. Experts cited in the above podcast, for example, indicate a number of reasons, including:

  • Long hours;
  • Anxiety about Covid and the state of the world;
  • Not feeling valued;
  • Lack of decent pay;
  • Poor communication from leaders; and
  • Safety concerns.

Betting On Themselves: Perhaps surprisingly, many workers — even those with lower paying jobs — left in order to take a pause, to figure out what they wanted in their lives, to find more balance, or because of burnout. Frequently, these workers left without the security of a new job in place. Instead, they were bravely “betting on themselves,” confident that their skills or chutzpah would lead to a new path.

Flexibility is Key: A recent survey found that 50% of remote workers would quit if they were required to return to in-person work. Even among front line workers, many left jobs seeking different hours because of commutes or childcare.

What Should You Do? 

Love The One You’re With: Conduct regular “stay audits” with leaders; make sure that they’re communicating with staff about how much their people are valued and seeking to find out what employees need and want to stay with your organization. Focus on helping current staff grow and develop, rather than complaining to them about their lack of skills or creating harsh environments.

Help Them Flex: The days of one set of hours and job descriptions are long gone in most progressive organizations, but the past 16 months have torpedoed any hope that we’ll go back to the “not-so-good-old-days,” when everyone stayed at the same company until they claimed a gold watch. Offer as much flexibility as you are able in terms of hours, location, remote work, and benefit choices.

Train, train, train: People will still stay put for a leader they love and abandon one they loathe. Make sure that leaders, managers, and supervisors know how to coach effectively, avoid legal and values minefields, create supportive environments, and hire the best.

For more ideas about retaining employees, go to our Monday Memos.

What Do You Think?

What reasons have you found for workers leaving your organization? Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Did You Know

All our leadership and management classes – live and online – help leaders and managers retain their best people. Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk – Tough Conversations with Your Employee” 

Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Do You Know How to Have Conversations That Convert? Here’s How

 

June 28, 2021

Do You Know How to Have Conversations That Convert? Here’s How

Beyond Challenging Conversations:  So many of us seem immersed in conversations that feel beyond challenging these days with workplace hassles, a national political divide, and conflicting vaccine opinions. Many of us have given up, retreated to our corners, and huddled with our respective tribes. In the workplace, of course, avoiding political debates may be the smartest course… but sometimes, you just cannot escape tough conversations on controversial topics.

Learning From a Master: As a pianist, Daryl Davis has jammed with the likes of Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee Lewis, B.B. King and even Bill Clinton. But in an impressive side hustle, Davis – a black man – spends his time defeating racism by hanging out with members of the KKK. He claims to have converted over 200 Klansmen and other white supremacists and has a collection or robes and hoods to prove his success: racist symbols that his converts have given him upon leaving the Klan.

Davis’s work has been documented for decades in articles, videos, books, and a TED Talk. He now has a podcast called “Changing Minds With Daryl Davis.”

Start With Listening: In an interview with NPR in 2017, Davis advised: “The best thing you do is you study up on the subject as much as you can. I went in armed, not with a weapon, but with knowledge. I knew as much about the Klan, if not more, than many of the Klan people that I interviewed.

When they see that you know about their organization, their belief system, they respect you. Whether they like you or not, they respect the fact that you’ve done your homework. Just like any good salesman, you want a return visit and they recognized that I’d done my homework, which allowed me to come back again.”

Over 500 studies by social psychologists have affirmed Davis’s approach, according to Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist at the Wharton School. Grant advises that these studies show that interacting face-to-face with a person or group different from you reduced prejudice 94 percent of the time. Earning trust is crucial, Grant states, and you will not earn trust until you meet them in person and listen to their stories.

The Results of Listening Without Judgement:  Davis’s technique encourages people to convert themselves: “When two enemies are talking, they’re not fighting. It’s when the talking ceases that the ground becomes fertile for violence. If you spend five minutes with your worst enemy — it doesn’t have to be about race, it could be about anything… you will find that you both have something in common. As you build upon those commonalities, you’re forming a relationship, and as you build about that relationship, you’re forming a friendship. That’s what would happen. I didn’t convert anybody. They saw the light and converted themselves.”

Banishing Hate: As Davis recently told The Guardian: “People must stop focusing on the symptoms of hate, that’s like putting a Band-Aid on cancer. We’ve got to treat it down to the bone, which is ignorance. The cure for ignorance is education. You fix the ignorance, there’s nothing to fear. If there’s nothing to fear, there’s nothing to hate. If there’s nothing to hate, there’s nothing or no one to destroy.”

What Should You Do? 

Listen First: As leaders, we all have colleagues, customers, and other stakeholders that we need to engage in tough conversations. For most of us, our impulse is to lecture them about the error of their ways, but both Davis and social current research challenges that approach.

Act Fast: The longer we try to avoid our adversaries, the more we will lose the opportunity to gain a relationship, cooperation, and commitment. Research also shows that the longer we sidestep conflict, the harder we will need to work to create connection.

Take the Long View: Davis never expects to change hearts and minds in one conversation. Instead, he listens, learns, and keeps talking. Sometimes his approach may take days or months, but he doesn’t give up. He is not always successful – nor will you be – but without beginning a dialogue, nothing will change.

A Do-It-Yourself-Project: We need to avoid, however, expecting our associates who are black, gay, immigrants or other marginalized groups to do the heavy lifting by approaching those who may hold hateful prejudices against them. As one of the consultants in my firm reminds us: “Sometimes we get tired of teaching.” Instead, we need to assume leadership and do the work ourselves, whenever we have an opportunity.

What Do You Think?

What methods have you used to have tough conversations with those whose views differ radically from yours? Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Did You Know

We’re back! We are fully available for in-person workshops, coaching and investigations, as well as continuing our online offers. Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk – Tough Conversations with Your Employee” 

Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Six Ways to Persuade Anyone!

 

June 21, 2021

Six Ways to Persuade Anyone!

WHO DO YOU NEED TO PERSUADE? If you are like most leaders… everyone! Employees, customers, peers, other stakeholders, your days are filled with moving doubters to your side of the table.

ABOUT WHAT? You may need more productivity from your people, a commitment from a prospective associate, more money in your budget, or a contract renewal from a customer or client.

HOW? Psychologist Dr. Robert Cialdini authored the classic: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion and various updates. His scientific and validated approach to ethical persuasion includes:

  1. Reciprocity:we can provide, for example, a “no-strings-attached” value in exchange for a favor.
  2. Commitment and Consistency:if we are reminded of our previous commitments and choices, someone can tap into our inherent resistance to change.
  3. Social Proof:  we are social animals and we are wired to determine the correct behavior by finding out what others think or believe; we frequently determine the correct behavior if we see others perform that conduct.
  4. Liking:we prefer to say “yes” to people we know or like.
  5.  Authority:we tend to follow authority figures, people with titles, clothes, trappings, or endorsements.
  6. Scarcity: we all like to feel special, as if we have been selected for a particular role, team, or project while others have not.

What Should You Do? 

Use a Strategy: Notice your overall approach when you need to persuade someone. Do you use emotion, threats, Jedi mind control? Instead, ponder Cialdini’s theories and consider what you might use.

Plan Tactics: If, for example, you need to obtain more productivity from key employees yet cannot provide more money, can you remind them of past commitments? Assure them (honestly, of course) that their co-workers have already committed? Use your pre-existing personal relationship (which you should have developed before you need it) to persuade? Or perhaps you could apply the principle of scarcity to assure them that you have selected them because of their talent? What other ideas could you adapt from the science of influence?

Remember Reciprocity: While you may not be able to provide more salary to an existing employee, can you promise time with an admired leader? Time off after the rush is over? Make sure that your offer is “no-strings-attached” and that you follow through with your own commitments.

For more information and articles about leading and motivating employees, go to www.workplacesthatwork.com

What Do You Think?

Have you observed differences between behavior and those who speak different languages? Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Did You Know

We’re back! We are fully available for in-person workshops, coaching and investigations, as well as continuing our online offers. Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk – Tough Conversations with Your Employee” and “We Need to Talk – Tough Conversations with Your Bossand learn to tackle any topic with sensitivity and smarts

Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Language, Leading and Culture: What Do You Need to Know?

 

June 14, 2021

Language, Leading and Culture: What Do You Need to Know?

Language and Brain Function: If you’re leading diverse teams who speak different languages, you’ve experienced the challenges that arise from language confusion. What you may not realize is that new brain research reveals that the differences may arise in the very structure of the brain.

Brain Scans: In a classic chicken and egg conundrum, new brain scans on people raised with different native languages have found that the brain either reflects or drives those differences. Lera Boroditsky, a cognitive scientist from the University of California at San Diego, studies these issues. Watch Your Mouth | Hidden Brain : NPR

When she had the opportunity to observe the language of an aboriginal community in Northern Australia, the Pormpuraaw of Cape York, for example, she found that they had excellent ability to orient themselves in space: north, south, east, and west. The way you say “hi” for example, with this group is: “which way are you headed?” In order to answer, you have to be able to place yourself in space. As an English and Russian speaker, she didn’t have that kind of spatial intelligence and they seemed to think she was pretty stupid that she didn’t know. They have, for example, no words for right and left, using instead the directions. Hard, she laughs, to teach someone the “Hokey Pokey”, since you’d have to say: “put your northeast leg in”, and so on.

The Brain’s Ability to Learn: While Boroditsky started out with no particular spatial intelligence, she found that her brain did learn how to orient, the longer she worked with that community: what neuropsychologists call “neuro plasticity”. At first, however, these brain-based language differences can cause confusion, stereotypes, and challenging differences. Consider, for example, the idea that the word “chair” in English is neither masculine nor feminine but in Spanish it’s feminine because you use “la” ahead of “silla”. When students who spoke different languages were shown pictures of objects we English speakers consider neutral, they imagined stereotypical masculine or feminine descriptions.

What Should You Do? 

Learn a New Language!  Nothing will give you more empathy for the non-native English speakers on your team than trying to master their language. While you may never be fluent enough to lead in that language, you’ll understand some of the confusion and become a more useful leader.

Understand Language and the Brain: Realize that language influences the very structure of the brain and vice versa. This structure is not permanent but may explain seemingly bizarre differences between people and groups.

Be Aware of Culture Differences: While we never want to excuse unacceptable workplace behavior because of cultural differences, understanding such clashes can help us learn what the consequences should be and what education is needed. Go to workplacesthatwork.com for more articles on this subject.

What Do You Think?

Have you observed differences between behavior and those who speak different languages? Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Did You Know

Our diversity, equity, and inclusion workshops – live and online—help leaders understand and work with language and cultural differences. Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at: www.workplacesthatwork.com

Read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk – Tough Conversations with Your Employee” and learn to tackle any topic with sensitivity and smarts

Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

A New Worry for Leaders!

 

June 7, 2021

A New Worry for Leaders!

WATCH YOUR BACK: As if leaders did not have enough to fuss about with various employment lawsuits, Corona back-to-work confusion, a shortage of qualified workers, and financial woes brought on by the pandemic, now you need to be concerned with sophisticated PR techniques from alleged discrimination, harassment, and other workplace mistreatment victims.

POTENTIAL PUBLIC RELATIONS NIGHTMARES: Because many victims feel out matched by the large corporate entities they are suing, they’ve started to turn to a new ploy: telling their stories through the media, with the help of a specialized PR firm. The newish firm, Lioness, founded by two accomplished PR pros, helps claimants craft their stories and seek appropriate outlets for their narratives. Read how the world learns about bosses behaving badly.

In a well-placed New York Times piece this week, the firm describes its work as “We’ve noticed that stories change hearts…. It’s much more effective than the legal case, in a way…. We think of ourselves as an intake and conduit for them to know how to tell their story.”

After vetting and corroborating the allegations, the firm works with a law firm that reviews nondisclosure agreements to avoid that legal minefield. What the firm finds is that most businesses involved know that it will reflect badly on them to sue employees who speak up about bosses behaving badly and other mistreatment, so they believe the risk of a countersuit is slim. In addition, in New York and California, for example, there are some new protections for victims of sexual misconduct who speak out.

A Trail of Targeted Employers: Since starting in late 2019, Lioness has worked with more than 100 individuals. The service is free for people speaking out: Lioness supports their work by doing paid public relations work for other clients. Because many people do not understand the backlash that can occur after they go public, Lioness helps them prepare for the onslaught. So far, they have worked with former employees from Tony Robbins’s companies, Better.com, and many others. A documentary is in the works.

What Should You Do? 

Do Not Assume: Nondisclosure and “mutual non disparagement agreements” used as a part of a settlement may or may not keep people from talking. Make sure that any you use are updated by your employment counsel.

Review the Basics: As always, systemwide training and policies are the best defense against baseless employee claims. If you make sure that your people are doing the right thing under your values, your policies, and the law, you will reduce or eliminate grievances.

Go to www.workplacesthatwork.com for more articles about how to select the best training and other preventative measures.

Take Bad Bosses Seriously: Most workers understand that work is work; they will forgive (grudgingly, perhaps) a lot of extra work or management errors but a toxic boss — even if they are what I call “equal opportunity jerks”, because they’re not discriminating based on race, gender or any other protected characteristic, and they’re just horrible to everyone — leaves you at much greater risk for potential claims, as well as turnover costs. Even if the employee cannot prove discrimination, you end up needing to put on an embarrassing defense: this boss was not discriminating or harassing, because they are jerks to everyone. A judge or a jury will do what they can to find a claim, even if none technically exists, just because they do not like the leader.

What Do You Think?

Have you found ways to experience flow during this past year? Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Did You Know

Our management and leadership classes include many other tips on how to make sure your staff is happy at work. Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at: www.workplacesthatwork.com

Read Lynne’s book on sexual harassment

Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Three Ways to Coach Empathy and Why You Should

 

May 17, 2021

Three Ways to Coach Empathy and Why You Should

DEFINING EMPATHY: According to Stanford psychologist Jamil Zaki, author of The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured World, in a recent interview on Hidden Brain, empathy, at its deepest level is understanding that someone else’s worldview is just as real as your own.

THE EMPATHY PROBLEM WITH LEADERS: We’re frequently asked to coach leaders who’ve been accused of harassment, discrimination or just being overall jerks, especially those who are condescending or demeaning. Read my article Do You Know Why Condescending and Demeaning Behavior Continues and What You Should Do? | (workplacesthatwork.com) Yet when we start coaching those executives, they don’t understand why their staff would think that. Our first step is always moving them toward this link. Regardless of the complaint, we find that the underlying issue is a lack of empathy.

THE TYPES OF EMPATHY: According to Zaki, there are three types of empathy:

1)    Emotional empathy, where we vicariously feel the feelings of others;

2)    Cognitive empathy, where we may not feel others’ feelings, but we can intellectually understand them; and

3)    Compassion or concern, where we have concern for what people are going through and a desire for their wellbeing.

Someone on the autism spectrum, for example, may struggle with cognitive empathy but they can care. Conversely, someone with psychopathy, can understand someone’s feelings but not share them.

LESS EMPATHY TODAY: Studies have shown that we’re less empathetic today than we were in previous centuries, perhaps because we live more urban and solitary lives, the anonymity of the Internet or that our interactions with the people we meet are more transactional. In previous eras, when we lived in more rural environments or smaller towns, we were both more likely to interact with others who were different than us and more forced to know them on more human levels because we had to depend upon them for our survival, and we knew that we would see them again at school, religious functions, or local clubs. Today – especially with so much online work and school — those forced interactions and dependence may be less common.

 

What Should You Do?

  1.  RECOGNIZE THE ISSUE: If you or someone you’re coaching is struggling with empathy, leading to unacceptable behavior, realize what’s happening and that empathy is an emotional muscle that you can strengthen with practice.
  2. EXPAND YOUR TRIBE: Ironically, various studies have shown that the more empathetic you are to your own group or kind, the less empathy you’ll have towards strangers outside your tribe. Recognizing the problem can lead you or those you coach to experiences that take you outside your comfort zone and help you understand other people.
  3. EXERCISE YOUR EMPATHY MUSCLE: Acting in plays, reading novels and certain kinds of virtual simulations can force you to live through someone else’s experience, increasing empathy with their plight. If you do these kinds of exercises, your ability to understand and care about how others experience the world will grow.

What Do You Think?

Have you found ways to experience flow during this past year? Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Did You Know

Our management and leadership classes include many other tips on how to make sure your staff is happy at work. Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at: www.workplacesthatwork.com

Read Lynne’s book “The Power of a Good Fight” and learn to embrace conflict to drive productivity, creativity, and innovation

Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304

Three Ways to Banish the Blahs for You and Your Team

 

May 3, 2021

Three Ways to Banish the Blahs for You and Your Team

A NAME FOR “MEH”:  Our kids call it “meh”, we may call it feeling blah. In any event, many of us are slogging into 2021 – not really depressed, but not inspired either. As one of the most emailed New York Times pieces recently put it: “There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing” by Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist at Wharton.

For those of us who were not grieving tremendous personal or job losses the past year: “It wasn’t burnout – we still had energy. It wasn’t depression – we didn’t feel hopeless. We just felt somewhat joyless and aimless. It turns out that there’s a name for that: Languishing.”

 For mental health pros, languishing lies in the middle of the mountain between flourishing on top and the valley of depression. As many of us realize that the pandemic and its consequences drag on, we may feel as if we are wading through a swamp. We’re no longer afraid of alligators or snakes, but the path feels endless and uncharted.

Recognize the symptoms for you and your staff:  We may find ourselves staying up way too late binge watching a detective series we’ve already seen twice, neglecting our morning run, eating an extra cookie because well, why not?

We may have trouble starting new projects or finding the joy in spring flowers. We complete the work with hard deadlines and shovel food at the kids and dogs so they don’t starve, but beyond that? Not so much.

What Should You Do?

Name the Mood: Psychological research has found that admitting the feeling is the first step to walking through. When someone asks how you’re feeling, admit that you have the blahs, or, if you think they’re interested, languishing. Encourage your staff to do the same. If you don’t feel safe in your work environment with that level of transparency, find a coach, friend, therapist, or spiritual advisor to help you through the thicket.  

Recognize Flow States:  The opposite of depression and lethargy is flow: the feeling of being immersed in work or pleasure so that time melts away, concentration peaks, and our boundaries collapse in a healthy way. Again, vocabulary is helpful. Use the concept with your own self talk and with your staff so that you know when you’re in a flow state.

Intentionally Create Flow:  The research on flow is extensive but psychologists have a few tips. Try to schedule uninterrupted time: no checking email or phones when you’re on a project, create and celebrate small goals and above all, recognize that you’re not alone with what you’re feeling now.

For more ideas on thriving now, go to Monday Memo Archives (workplacesthatwork.com)

https://www.workplacesthatwork.com/resources/monday-memo-archives/

What Do You Think?

Have you found ways to experience flow during this past year? Contact us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Did You Know

Our management and leadership classes include many other tips on how to make sure your staff is happy at work. Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at: www.workplacesthatwork.com

Read Lynne’s book “We Need to Talk — Tough Conversations with Your Employee” and learn to tackle any topic with sensitivity and smarts

Workplaces That Work | (303) 216-1020 | lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
3985 Wonderland Hill | Suite 106 | Boulder, CO 80304