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How to Manage a Micromanager: What NOT to Do
 I spoke at the SHRM mega-chapter conference (the 2018 Gulf Coast Symposium) in Houston last week on “ToughConversations: Tackle Any Topic With Sensitivity and Smarts” and was swarmed after the presentation. Most of the swarmers had one question: How do I talk to someone who wants to micromanage my work? They’re driving me crazy! I can relate.
My first boss out of law school was a micromanager. Brilliant but nerdy, he made our office of twenty-plus attorneys sign in and out for lunch and bathroom breaks. Complaints that we were not wage-and hour-slaves and should not be treated as such were dismissed with shrugs. He tore around the office with a pencil behind his ear so he could attack any meandering dangling participles or misplaced modifiers he happened to find sneaking about in our correspondence or briefs.
“…your best tactic is surrender:
micromanagers are not likely to change
without a huge incentive to change.”
He was one of the best writers I ever worked with but never understood the power of prioritizing. He perused cover letters for insignificant errors with the same care he addressed a 10th Circuit brief. The big issues were never addressed, such as which projects we focused on and why. I lasted about a year and then I bailed.
Micromanagers frequently dog you because they need control to feel secure: they are medicating their own anxiety.
Sadly, your best tactic is surrender: micromanagers are not likely to change without a huge incentive to change. You can learn a lot from them because they frequently have skills in particular areas. Learn until you can stand it no longer and then leave. In the meantime, you can try these techniques:
- Talk skillfully and specifically with them. It won’t work to talk about the problems in general or to label their management style as “micromanagement.” People don’t like to be labeled and that tactic will just drive them to their corner where they will come out fighting.
- Try to gain agreement about which projects will be solely in your territory with no supervision and which will not. Once you have that agreement, confirm it with an email. Expect backsliding. You will have to remind him or her frequently about the agreement.
- Convey priorities. A micromanager needs the illusion of control to feel calm. Make sure that he or she knows what you are working on and why, as well as what you are prioritizing.
- Use approximations. Don’t try to change a big behavior but focus on small steps. Make sure that you are focusing on behavior, things you can see or hear, not the micromanager’s personality traits. As we say in mediation: eat the elephant bite by bite.
- Don’t take it personally. Remember, this kind of boss is behaving that way in order to try to stay calm. It is – most likely – not about you.
- Be upfront. If all else fails, lay your cards on the table. Let them know that your styles are incompatible and you will have to leave if they don’t change. If you are valuable enough (and given the current low employment rate) you may have a shot. Again, make sure you have a list of specific things that you would need to see change in order to stay.
 Did You Know
Our management and leadership classes address the issue of micromanagement, prioritizing, and what works for leaders.
Call or write me to discuss your options at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com
Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at:
Be sure to read Lynne’s book “Stop Pissing Me Off!” and learn what to do when the people you work with drive you crazy.
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May 14, 2018
