Last week, I wrote about leading difficult people and many of you responded to that post. In addition to those suggestions, many of you wanted to know more about why difficult people do things that piss us off, annoy us and leave us frothing at the mouth. Are they just doing it to enrage us? Are they oblivious to how they come across to others? Couldn’t they stop if they really want to?
Hardwiring in the Brain. My view – after years in the trenches coaching difficult people as well as helping leaders manage them – is that people are hardwired with certain personality characteristics, some of which can be extremely annoying. The brain is genetically loaded to a certain extent (psychologists currently estimate at least 50 percent) to be focused or distracted, gregarious or withdrawn, good at reading social cues or terrible. While good or bad parenting, cultural influences, education, spiritual work, and therapy can change and influence this, we all arrive on the planet with certain inherent tendencies, strengths, and weaknesses. Understanding how other people’s brains might be hardwired can help us cope with their seemingly bizarre (to us) behavior.
A Mental Health Epidemic. In my consulting practice, when I’m called 
in to mediate a group conflict, coach a problem executive, or rebuild a team, I uncover a mental health issue at least 80 percent of the time. According to Scientific American, 1 in 6 Americans is on psychiatric medications.
Most Are Not Treated. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, only 20 percent of people with major depression, for example, get even minimally adequate treatment, and 43 percent aren’t being treated at all. The costs are staggering: Mental illness causes more disability cases than any other form of illness in adults in America and accounts for well more than $100 billion in lost productivity each year.
Most Are Also Working. Most people continue to work, even though they may be suffering and not as productive or cooperative as you would like.
November 19, 2018
