Cutting Gossip and Cross Talk: What Should You Do?

Cutting Gossip and Cross Talk: What Should You Do?

WHY STRAIGHT TALK MATTERS: If we are honest, we all like a bit of gossip to spice up our days – if it is not about us! Even in an age of non-stop Zoom meetings, I find that leaders complain that their staff wastes too much time chatting, emailing, and phoning about what is going on in the organization. While some of this talk can be productive, much of the time may be spent spreading rumors, complaining to third parties, or ignoring productive solutions to real workplace issues.

TRIANGULATION: In my book, The Power of a Good Fight — I call this kind of talk triangulation strangulation. What I mean is that the conversation stagnates, because people are focused on blame, criticism, and finger-pointing, instead of solutions.

THE HARM OF GOSSIP: Cross talk frequently damages an organization by spreading false information, causing inefficiencies, and damaging reputations. Eventually, this behavior can poison cooperation and create a toxic culture.

For more ideas on gossip at work go to my Monday Memo Do You Know How and Why to Stop Gossip in Your Workplace?

What Should You Do?

REFUSE TO TOLERATE GOSSIP: If you are a leader, clarify your stance on gossip; insist that your staff address issues directly to the person or group with the power to solve a problem. If someone is complaining to you about another associate, insist that they speak to the first person before you will listen to their complaint. If you’re not in a leadership position, refuse to participate in gossip, change the conversation or simply ask: Have you spoken to ….. about this issue?

NAME THE GAME: If someone is avoiding a challenging conversation with you by speaking to a third party, make sure that you address that behavior with the rumor spreaders.

State: It has come to my attention that you have spoken to B about me and issue X. 

Ask: Is there anything that I’ve said or done that’s making it hard for you to speak to me directly? Is there anything that I could say or do that would make it easier to speak with me directly?

WATCH YOUR OWN SPEECH: Buddhists talk about “right speech”, the idea that our words alone can cause harm. Be sure that you model straight talk yourself and go directly to the source to solve problems. Encourage productive – not unproductive – conflict.

Did You Know

These and other meeting ideas are addressed in all our leadership and management workshops – live and online.

Call or write us at: 303-216-1020 or Lynne@workplacesthatwork.com

Coaching and webinars on these and other management and leadership topics can all be delivered virtually.

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Read Lynne’s book “The Power of a Good Fight” and learn to embrace conflict to drive productivity, creativity and innovation