The CEO of a manufacturing company, Bill, inherited a management team riddled with conflict. He hired us to facilitate an executive retreat with his team. We did an exercise that we frequently use with groups where we draw a time line for the organization and have each person chart their own high and low on the time table, Bill was astounded to hear that many of the low points on the others’ time table involved descriptions of his associates suffering through one of his blistering attacks. As the head of his operations department put it: “Listening to feedback from Bill about the Casey project was not only the lowest day at the company, it was the lowest day of my entire life.”
Before our eyes, Bill grew wings in an instant. After a moment of silence while he dealt with his shock, he jumped up and announced that they were going to do another exercise. He ripped out pieces of flip chart paper and started plastering them around the room. “OK, guys, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to give me three things that you think I do well and three things where I need to improve. Don’t hold back, I want to hear the best and the worst of it. The rules are that I can’t say anything in response and I need to write down what you say right here so that I won’t ever forget it. Then I’m
going to have it typed up, framed and hung in my office so that I focus on what you’ve said on a daily basis.”
The quiet in the room was deafening. Finally, Linda, the VP of PR, found her voice and started listing his strengths: he was decisive, visionary, and good with bottom-line issues. Weaknesses she saw were that she and others frequently didn’t feel as if he heard what they said, he was impatient, and didn’t really seem to want to get to know people on a personal level, limiting, she thought, his ability to harness their strengths and weaknesses.
The other eleven subordinates followed Linda. Bill listened and wrote, saying nothing. When he was finished he thanked them, sat down, and said nothing. The team squirmed in the silence. Finally, the head of their global marketing team asked if he could go next. Bill agreed and that led to the entire
team moving through the spontaneous feedback process.
Bill made good on his promise to frame his feedback in his office; the others followed suit. The lists became a proud company tradition and – far from avoiding feedback – led to the practice of executives actually welcoming suggestions and input and feeling left out of the process if they had yet to receive their lists.
Doing so will help you develop your own conflict skills.
