I have to say my kids and I are disappointed. It’s been over a week and we’re still not over the loss. We thought we had a shot at having the first gay Elvis American Idol. (Although as the New York Times carefully noted, Adam Lambert has never formally declared his sexual orientation.) With his ever changing hair, his white leather or impeccably tailored outfits and his soulful style, Lambert had the ability to change how we saw the pop contest forever. Maybe the show could be a unique reflection of a new voice in American music, instead of a rather predictable piece of show business fluff.
I can’t imagine how anyone watching Lambert perform The Tracks of My Tears or I Can’t Have You could remain unmoved. Much has been written, of course, about his ability to bend a song to his own brand. Just as much fun as watching and listening to Lambert rip through Led Zepplin’s Whole Lotta Love was to watch the judges sit in stunned silence as if saying ” I don’t know what you just did but I love it!”
But what I liked even more than his constantly changing looks were the way he faced the judges when they gave him feedback. You can learn a lot about how to accept feedback from Lambert. He didn’t tear up, argue, or huff and puff. He looked them straight in the eyes, as if calmly responding to every comment: nothing that you say can change who I am or what I’m doing. I know who I am and what I’m trying to accomplish.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t listen to feedback at work: of course you should. But you need to have a core that stays still not matter what anyone’s saying to you. With that core in place, you can then listen to feedback, take what you like and leave the rest. The rest may not be worth anything or it may contain valuable advice but if you don’t know who you are before you start listening, it will be hard to sort our the wheat from the chaff, the cloying comments of a Paula Abdul from the constant carping of a Simon Cowell.
Before I became a speaker and author, I spent ten years standing in front of federal judges. Because of that, I frequently joke to my audiences, it’s hard to insult me. I’ve been insulted by professionals! Not that you’re not all professionals but it’s not your job to insult me. I do listen to feedback but whatever I receive isn’t going to alter the core of who I am.
Listen and learn, yes, but do so in a way that leaves your soul intact.
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