When you pass on to the ’sweet by an by’ what will people be saying about you? The passing of the great liberal lion, Ted Kennedy, offers us a chance to reflect on this question. In my experience, there’s no better way to measure whether we’re accomplishing our personal and career goals than to reflect on our own funeral.Love his political rhetoric or not, everyone agrees that he lived a big life, consistent with his own principles to never give up the fight for the little guy. He overcame his personal failings to live a life dedicated to his country and his family.

Politicians on the left and the right are singing his praises this week. Those who knew him report that he made friends wherever he went, always taking the time to talk to the child in a wheelchair, even when rushing to a political event.

His attention to other people was legendary. David Axelrod, Obama’s campaign manager, happened to share the same birthday with Kennedy. Somehow, Kennedy managed to find this out and track Axelrod down, even in the midst of the hectic campaign, to wish him well on his day. “When people were in trouble, he was the first person to call or write. When people had a birthday, he was the first person to call, remembered Axelrod.

Despite the relentless rancor of 40 some years in politics, Kennedy had that rare ability to reach across the aisle to the other side. He adapted his policies to fit the compromise of legislation that was needed, although he never compromised his principles. He built friends by being friendly to everyone in the Senate, even if he disagreed with their political philosophy and often insisted that another Senator’s name precede his on a bill he’d sponsored, taking care to share the glory.

But he was no Mother Teresa.

Kennedy’s plane crashed in 1964 on the way to a state Democratic convention and broke his back. In 1969, he crashed his car and plunged off the bridge at Chappaquiddick, killing his passenger and failing to call the police for nine hours. He drank too much and ate too much. Rumors of carousing dogged him until he married late in life for the second time, and settling down to domestic happiness and legislative respect.

Tragedy tailed him. He buried his parents, two older brothers and his nephew. Yet in the face of tragedy and scandal, he exhibited not only resilience and tenacity but–according to everyone who knew him–a joy for life that overflowed and cheered whoever was lucky enough to move in his orbit.

What can you learn from this about your own career and life success? Consider the following:

~Never underestimate the power of the ability to reach out to someone at the right moment. Keep track of birthdays, graduations, and deaths. Be the first to write and call. As I wrote in my book Stop Pissing Me Off! What to do When the People You Work With Drive You Crazy, people never forget these efforts.

~Reach across the aisle. Be the first to seek consensus and compromise in your organization. Learn to really listen to people. Kennedy had that laser ability to make people feel as if his total attention was on them. As I wrote in The Power of A Good Fight, Embracing Conflict to Drive Productivity, Creativity, and Innovation, don’t underestimate the need people have to feel really heard.

~Stick to your principles. Stay on purpose, even if you don’t get what you want. Kennedy never gave up on fighting for civil rights, raising the minimum wage, universal health coverage and the other issues he championed. Even when he lost and the cause was unpopular, Kennedy never wavered.

~Leave a legacy. Think about what you’ll leave behind and what people will be saying about you at your funeral. Your accomplishments don’t need to be grand like Kennedy’s, but if you imagine what you’ll leave behind, you’ll be able to focus on what’s most important to you, whether it’s a healthy family, a new product, a book or a lush garden.

As Obama put it this week, because of Kennedy’s long illness and diagnosis, we had the “blessing of time to say thank you and goodbye.” You may not have that. No one knows for sure what the future holds or how long you have. What you can impact, however is what remains when you leave. Start thinking about what you want that legacy to be. As Kennedy put it in his speech at the 2008 Democratic convention: We know that the future will outlast all of us and we will outlast the future.”