The blogosphere and pundits alike have had a field day over the last month with the specter of yet another supposedly straight-laced, upright, morality preaching politician brought down by infidelity. While he hasn’t resigned as of this post, he had a tough time at Monday’s press conference dodging questions about his affair with an Argentine beauty while he was trying to talk about state business.
While I could go on about how he–like other sanctimonious, bible thumping politicians- should have just “kept it in his pants” what I want to remind you about, dear reader, is the stupidity and dangers of email.
The State, a South Carolina newspaper, printed excerpts from the florid emails between the Gov. and the woman with whom he was having an affair, “Maria.” For example:
“Two, mutual feelings…You have a particular grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light- but hey, that would be going into sexual details…
Sleep soundly knowing that despite the best efforts of my head my heart cries out for you, your voice, your body, the touch of your lips, the touch of your finger tips and an even deeper connection to your soul.”
What is it about email that makes supposedly smart people abandon all sense? Almost every investigation I conduct these days has the alleged harasser or discriminator leaving an incriminating email trail. These are all people who should know better: lawyers, investment bankers, IT professionals. Yet email they must, despite the fact that an email is a just a postcard on the server floor.
As I often tell my workshop participants, and as I wrote in my book Stop Pissing Me Off! What to do When the People You Work With Drive You Crazy, the e in email stands for evidence! And in the Sanford debacle, I would say that the e in email stands for embarrassing! Some examples of the stupidity I have seen:

~The law firm partner who emailed the male associate he allegedly harassed because he was gay asking him how he enjoyed going to certain gay bars.
~The married investment banker who denied harassing the firm’s receptionist, and claimed that he considered her “just a good friend,” despite the fact that he had sent her 300 personal emails over a two month period, most of which she did not reply.
~The executive who asked an employee out on dates over a series of emails.
~The employee who posted a picture of her new boss on Facebook, along with the comment “she’s a slut.”
~The employee who hit reply all after writing a foul mouthed tirade about his new boss.

I always think these guys, like Governor Sandford, should be fired for stupidity. I could go on but you get the picture. It’s now standard operating procedure for me to ask for emails in investigations. I will say that it’s made my work so much easier to have people documenting all their sins.
What is it about this urge to write stupid emails? Perhaps it’s the illusion of intimacy and immediacy, perhaps it’s the assumption that no one will ever single out this one email out of the billions that are sent every day but, in fact, they do. So…just to review, here are some email do’s and don’ts:

Do Use email for information.
Don’t Flame the fire of a conflict. When things heat up, pick up the phone or walk down the hall.
Do Include only those who absolutely need to know.
Don’t Hit “reply all” without thinking.
Do Use email professionally.
Don’t Write anything you wouldn’t want your boss or your mother to read.
Do Write drafts on paper and then shred.
Don’t Assume you can delete an email after it’s sent. A good IT person can retrieve almost anything.
Do Send old fashioned love letters, if you must.
Don’t Use email to conduct an office romance.

Of course, it’s still possible to embarrass yourself in the workplace without email but at least you won’t leave the tracks of your tears on an electronic stone wall.