Miss California

My goodness, but Miss California has had a tough couple of weeks hasn’t she? First, she brings down the wrath of a significant portion of the American public by coming out against gay marriage in response to a question by Parez Hilton in The Miss USA Pageant, which allegedly cost her the crown. Then, this week, nude pictures of her taken as a teenager show up on the Internet.

While such problems may seem far removed from your work-a-day woes, they actually both reveal relevant lessons.

First, she should have known that she’d be facing a tough conversation in the pageant and should have been prepared for it. You too, can be sure that tough conversations will be a part of your work life and, if you want to survive and thrive in this tough economy, you need to be ready to answer skillfully.

Second, the only thing the any of you really have to sell at work is our reputation. Once that’s gone, you’re toast. You need to guard that reputation like the gold that it is, especially in the Internet age. Let’s take these two issues separately.

1.     Tough Conversations. In my two most recent books (one on how to talk to your boss, one on how to talk to your employee), I talk about being ready for these kinds of questions. One of the things Miss California missed was offering the kind of understanding that I’m sure she wanted to receive. She could have given out exactly the same answer, if she’d just been prepared to offer up first the thing that she wanted, which was appreciation and understanding. If she’d sweetened her statement with that, she could have gone on to say almost anything and the response would have been much different. Be prepared to address tough conversations with a specific format before they arise; practice them; and you’ll be able to know what to do when a conversational fastball comes toward you.
2.    Nude Photos. It goes without saying, of course, that you don’t want these swarming around the Internet. Be very careful what you post, even on the most private of sites. What if someone else posts them of you, or you’re the victim of some youthful indiscretion? In this, as in many things, a good offense is the key. Make sure that there are a lot of positive things out there so that when a potential employer Googles you, these kinds of negative things are not the first that pop up. (And by the way, don’t be wearing a lot of low blouses around the office, unless you are running for Miss USA. Just because the women on “Sex In the City” show a lot of décolletage, doesn’t mean that you should. That’s a TV show, okay?)

Read up, practice up, and be ready for your next tough conversation. Keep your clothes on at work and on the Internet and you won’t have to worry about being in Miss California’s situation.